Bi-Animals!

Bi-Animals!

The more social media sites proliferate, the more confused I get about what you're supposed to do with them. I started on livejournal when that's where everyone was, and people wrote long treatises there. And other people responded, at length. Then came facebook, and then twitter and now pininterest and buzzfeed. I have no idea what I personally would do with buzzfeed, but I'm liking what one buzzfeed staffer, Matt Stopera has put together: a list of the 25 Gayest Animals.

The truth is that most of the animals he lists would probably more likely qualify as bi-sexual, although since we don't really know how the animals identify and we can really ask them, we have to go on their behavior. Some of the animals I think most queerfolk would be excited about. Others, we might prefer not to claim.

For example, Stopera's first example is giraffes, who apparently more commonly act gay than straight. Which makes you wonder a little about how it is that giraffes are still around, if they mostly have gay sex, but then, on the other hand, I've never actually seen a giraffe walking around Brooklyn or anything so perhaps that's just a zoo thing.

Another example he gives is bedbugs. Apparently, dude bed bugs are “sexually attracted to any newly fed individual and this results in homosexual mounting.” Of course, this also results in heterosexual mounting which does make them officially bisexual. They are also officially repulsive; do you know what makes bedbug bites itch? They inject a little anesthetic into you after they bite you before they start to drink your blood. This is so you won't wake up. This is so gross. I say give the bedbugs back to the heterosexuals. Can't we trade for dolphins?