Dear Readers,

I am a 20 years old guy living in the UK at the moment for my studies attempting to talk about my gay self, my (semi-virgin) sexual life and thoughts in general as I have never really had a person to talk with in real life. Not because I can't find someone but only because I grew up in a country with a culture that does not support gay people.

I always found it really difficult to talk about me to other people and especially when thinking that I should be really careful as to what I am about to say since I never knew how the listener would react. That is one of the main reasons that i decided to start this blog. No fear of who might read this since this is all anonymous. (Btw i am really sorry for the bad use of the lanaguage, english is not my first language).

So my story begins at the age of let's say 11 (I really don't remember exactly when it started but I remember that at that age I wasn't mature enough to cum :). I used to try some sexual stuff with my brother even if I didn't really like those stuff since I knew something was wrong with it. At first we just looked at each other's dicks and after that we started wanking together and sucking each other off. I still remember that at that time I never liked those stuff and I could not even cum. It took me a lot of effort to putting an end to this but the harm was already done to me.

It was then, at the age of maybe 13-14 that I realized that I was not "normal". Not like the other kids. I was always attracted to guys. I spent my whole teenage life in a lie, trying to act as them, like a "normal" guy. Always pretending to be someone I am not. And the fact that I was raised in a quite religious family didn't help at all. Since then I feel guilty of who I am or maybe of who I become even though I am starting to hopefully getting over it.

I never had real sex (excluding the stuff that I did with my brother) until the age of 17. I used to spend hours and hours on the internet watching porn and chatting with other gay guys fantasizing having sex with them and stuff. And you know when someone is wasting so many hours on the internet for porn he wants to get to see more and more stuff. That is how I think I got into kinky stuff.

After the age of 17, when I first met a gay guy and had sex with him (i was always top since then) which surprisingly it was kinky sex, I am having a lot of sex with a variety of guys until recent as sluttish at that may sound.

And that's a really bad draft of my life so far. Which I will be talking about more in other posts when I have the time together with my current adventures.

Klat Categories: 

Great news for Boy Scouts

It looks like there is movement in the right direction.

Ever since my family found out about how the Boy Scouts discriminate against gay boys and men, we decided to cease supporting them in any fundraisers or other activities that they do. I hate to say no to a kid working hard to earn his badges, but I think it’s important.

Ever since then, I have heard of troops surreptitiously allowing gay members to participate. I heard about a dad who started a Boy Scout troop that not only allows gays, but also girls! (This is very important, I must tell you, because my daughter is in the Girl Scouts and as much as she loves it, the Boy Scouts have much more fun things to do at their events—such as animal exhibits at the History Museum events, whereas the girls have bracelet-making that my daughter’s not interested in at all.) His troop proves the motivation and desire that parents have for such a club, by the way, as the parents of 40 local kids want to join him.

I have heard about  awards being given to scouts despite the prejudice laws, such as in the case of the Mount Diablo-Silverado Boy Scout Council, which just awarded a 12-year member his Eagle Scout Award. Unfortunately, now the executive of the local scouts is refusing to sign off on the award; you can contact him here.

Sponsors are also puling funds from the Boy Scouts until they agree to let gay members participate. Merck, for example, has suspended funding until the organization ceases its bigoted policies. Previously, Intel and UPS have also cut their funding after learning about the discrimination the organization promotes. This means that the boys will have to work harder at fundraising, unfortunately—but hopefully the dollar signs put pressure on the Powers That Be to change their ways.

I totally agree that a business—whether it be the Boy Scouts or Chik-fil-A—has the right to its own ethical principles (of course, these, to me, are the opposite of ethical), but most forms of discrimination are outlawed. Banning a person due to sexual orientation is not an ethical practice but a discriminatory one reminiscent of Jim Crow laws in this country. Every person—no matter their color, race, religion, sexual orientation, or other identifier—should be protected from discrimination per the law. And until the law catches up with our needs—as it always seems to be behind them—it is our duty to pressure businesses and organizations to do so.

Is Target finally on target?

Store sells shirts to help defeat gay marriage ban

Years ago, we boycotted Target because of their treatment of gay people—including big donations to anti-gay campaigns and organizations. (I was also not impressed with Target pharmacists denying women Plan B.) However, they’ve been making improvements over the years—so much that my husband actually applied to work there while he was laid off and now works there—and today I read something that actually made me think that Target, like JC Penney, might actually, finally, be on target.

The company is now selling T-shirts to help defeat an anti-gay marriage ban in Minnesota. The T-shirts, which are $12.99, are available in four different styles, including one that declares, “Love is Love,” which was designed by Gwen Stefani.The local Minnesota for Marriage (which sounds like a group that might support marriage for all people, you’d think!) spokesperson went on about how Target should only support “traditional marriage,” by which I think we all now know translates to having hundreds of wives. Or marrying someone you rape. Or having a threesome with your sister and her servant, or your husband and son—right?

Well, since there are already two men or two women involved in some of these marriages, he shouldn’t mind that some gay couples want to get hitched, too. It’s just minus one other player; it’s pretty simple to me. And to the rest of the country, apparently.

Here’s the deal: don’t like gay marriage? Don’t have one! The same goes with so many other things in life. Look, I don’t like your ugly toupees or your outdated, horribly mistranslated religious text or your breeding and brainwashing of close-minded children or your gross misinterpretation of your own religion, but I haven’t petitioned the government to outlaw any of these things (which, unfortunately, many government officials already subscribe to as well); so stop trying to outlaw the chance for other people to have the same rights and privileges you have.

And in the meantime, Target, please keep up the good work! I didn’t see any shirts being sold at our local target but I’d love to purchase one and help with the campaign to raise up to $120,000 for the Family Equality Council. I love that 100% of the sales of these shirts will go to the campaign, too.

Sales will only continue through the month of June, so those interested should order their shirts while they last. They are available by shopping online.


What Obama's support actually means for the queer community

At the outset? Not too much.

Don't you hate it when a friend starts acting overly nice to you only to ask to borrow your money ten minutes later? Like kindness and companionship were commodities to be bought? Don't you hate it when someone who unflinchingly calls you and millions of other people “friend” says something nice to you, then uses it as an excuse to beg for monetary support?

Like most Americans on the queer side of things, I squeed with delight when I saw that President Barack Obama had publicly endorsed marriage equality. I even blogged that picture of the president riding a unicorn with rainbow lasers firing out of his fists. I was that excited. But my rush was soon dampened when just hours later, I got an email from Barack himself (he texts me and emails me all the time, we're bros) entitled “Marriage”. Inside wasn't a promise to introduce federal legislation expanding the definition of marriage to a legal union any two consenting adults who damn well want to get married. It wasn't even really a followup declaration of support for the queer community of the United States. It was a straight-up fundraiser—and given all my initial euphoria, it kind of stung.

It stung because I felt like the human rights struggle most pertinent to my personal life was suddenly turned into a pawn in the larger political game. Like Barack Obama didn't even think twice about taking my struggle to be seen as a full human being in the eyes of the law and using it to ask me for money. It would be one thing if he were raising funds for an actual plan to legalize gay marriage, but no such plan emerged. Obama still thinks the issue of marriage equality should be decided by the states. States like North Carolina, whose poll booths are more than half full of frothing bigots, who decided to keep it illegal. He personally believes in marriage equality—he just doesn't politically believe in doing anything to help make it a reality.

It's still pretty awesome, at least in theory, that we have a president that thinks gays are people, too. Obama's announcement was a big symbolic gesture and a firm indicator that gay-fearing Republicans are on the wrong side of history. But it smarts when such a vote of support is used to gather campaign funds so quickly—like it was planned, like Obama believes that such a ploy is precisely what he needs to reclaim the more disillusioned progressive voters. It was a decisive move, to be sure, but I fear it's also a cheap political one.

Conservapedia: "Lesbians are fat and unhealthy"

... and that is just the tip of the iceburg regarding their plethora of gay knowledge

Conservapedia, the "Fox News" of internet encyclopedias (of which there are many, but none as great as Wikipedia, obviously) is at it again (technically speaking I guess they have not stopped). Check out this article on Lesbianism and obesity. If you do not have time to read all of it here are the cliffs notes:

"Lesbians are fat and gross - have a relationship with a man... Jesus will do... to be thin, healthy, and pretty!"

My favorite part:

"In 2007, a purported lesbian wrote to Andrew Sullivan, the political commentator and administrator of The Daily Dish blog: “     And - oh heck, I'll admit it - aesthetics have value, too! As a woman, I may not be as focused on looks as men are predisposed to be, but I sure am tired of seeing so many queer ladies out there who are way past 200 pounds. Way, way past. Sorry, but no amount of "fat acceptance" is going to make that a pleasant sight - gay, straight, butch, femme, male or female."

Purported? What you couldn't find a lesbian to just ask? I guess the Christian, Daily Dish blog ... which looks a lot like one of them liberal ones... didn't have the time. Conservapedia must have also not had the time to just ask the opinion of a certified lesbian. Ask for the PINK CARD, or golf memberships fellahs!

S-s-s-eriously Conservapedia? Is the Bible Belt (where Jesus is like a Rockstar) the land of svelte models? I think not. Mississippi was recently named FATTEST state for the sixth year in a row with Alabama, Tennessee, West Virginia, Kentucky, and Louisiana taking their piece of the obesity pie behind it. I am no expert but I assume that because only around 3.8% of the population is gay that leaves a pretty hefty majority of obese straight people (and we will assume half of them are straight women).

Shown below: where most of the fat straight people are located (Image via Wikipedia (Bible Belt)):

Shown above: where Conservapedia thinks the worlds thinnest, most Christian-ist people must live


If that is not enough to turn your stomach, the article on Homosexuality answers the hard questions many religulous people have about queers.

The Causes of Homosexuality is another great read... I don't want to spoil the ending but it has a lot to do with how close you are to your mother and Jesus, respectively.

The site also touches on "Special Rights", which is defined as simply:

"Special rights, also called special privileges, are privileges extended to a particular special-interest group but denied to the majority. Indeed, special rights come at the expense of the rights of the majority. Examples of special rights include same-sex "marriage"[1] and the repeal of Don't ask, don't tell[2]."


And who do we have to thank for all of this great information?

(image via Wikipedia)
   Andrew Schlafly
   521 Fifth Ave. - 17th Floor
   New York, New York 10175
   United States

   Registered through:
      Created on: 28-Aug-06
      Expires on: 28-Aug-20
      Last Updated on: 20-Jul-11

   Administrative Contact:
      Schlafly, Andrew
      521 Fifth Ave. - 17th Floor
      New York, New York 10175
      United States
      +1.2122924510      Fax -- 

   Technical Contact:
      Schlafly, Andrew
      521 Fifth Ave. - 17th Floor
      New York, New York 10175
      United States
      +1.2122924510      Fax -- 

   Domain servers in listed order:


Read more about this crazy guy at Wikipedia.

You might also like a quick read about his Mom, Phyllis... who you know is behind the keyboard writing everything.


The realms of love


Love is one of the strongest feelings we ever experience in our entire lives. It’s a feeling that captures us and makes us feel as if the world has suddenly become a brighter place. I’m sure you’ve seen someone who is freshly in love. There is more bounce in their step and a smile that they couldn’t wipe off their faces if they tried. But, while love is all well and good, there is another end of it that is one of the hardest things we will ever go through.

Breaking up is hard to do and no matter how many times we go through this- it never gets easier. In my experience, even if you know you’re not in love with someone, it’s still a sad day when that relationship comes to an end. You lose a friend and someone you spent a good deal of your time with. But, the hardest part of it all is when we lose a love that meant so very much to us.

Losing someone you really love hurts so deeply that I don’t think it’s ever something we will truly recover from. I will always remember the first time my heart was broken and although it has been many years since this occurred, it still gives me a slight ping in my heart when I think about it. I find it amazing that something that can make us feel so great can make us feel so terrible. Love is a crazy thing, but it is something that will take us by surprise no matter where we go in life.  

Such a beautiful love

Love is one of the best feelings in the world. When we have love in our lives, it makes our lives feel more complete and gives us something worth smiling about. Of all the love in the world, there is one type of love that I feel is stronger and greater than any other love there is or ever will be. This is the love that a mother has for her children.

A mother’s love for her children is the deepest type of love I have ever seen. It is not until a mother holds her child that she realizes what real, true to the heart love really is. A mother, who holds her child’s hand, knows that she would give up her own life in order to protect her child from any harm. When she sees her child cry, her entire heart breaks because there is nothing in this world that she wants more than to fix whatever is hurting her child.

I think it goes hand in hand too. I think a child’s love for their mother (or parent) is a different type of love than they will ever have. I am a grown adult and I have to say, I don’t know where I would be in life if it wasn’t for my mom being there. She is a big part of my world and she has been there for me through everything. The relationship that a mother and her child have is such a beautiful love and it’s a love that I wouldn’t trade for the world. 

It Takes More Than Glitter

to make community

Lately I've become considered about the glitterification of our community.It's not that I don't like glitter. I like glitter a lot. True story: I once went to the doctor with a strange pattern of what felt like sunburn and looked like a rash. My doctor took one look at it and said “have you been in the sun with a lot of glitter on?” It was June, when gay stand up comics almost never perform inside because we're always emceeing prides. I thought for a minute “yes, indeed I have” He shrugged “you've got glitter enhanced sunburn”

I know it sounds like I'm making it up, but I go to an entertainment clinic. When I told my doctor how I torn a very important ligament imitating an erotic dancer on stage, he never even looked from writing in my chart.

So all that to say, I'm not afraid of a little glitter. And I think glitter is an important part of our community identity. But the truth is, I want us to want more than glitter. I want us to want some substance that backs up the glitter. I remember a friend who does drag once told me, “every time I get bashed, someone calls me a nasty anti-gay epithet. I feel like if I'm always taking my hits for the gay community, but it seems like the gay community is always about someone straight acting, normal looking. As a queeny man, I'm only allowed to be entertainment, only allowed to be glitter. “

Maybe there's more than glitter? Or maybe, just maybe, we could love the glitter in a substantial way.

Butch's Crew

Adventures At The Tackle Shop

My family vacations at Torch Lake in Northern Michigan each summer. Well, actually these days it's not every summer, because of Michael Moore. He bought a multimillion dollar home on the lake, drove all the property taxes up and and now no working families can afford to visit there. At any rate, every few summers we go to Torch Lake and visit a place called Butch's Tackle and Marine. They sell all sorts of stuff there; tackle and marine stuff, predictably as well as things like elk jerky and very old magazines and sample sized of over the counter medication, chewing gum in a single flavor and single serving chilled (as they say in Michigan) pop.

They also sell a whole bunch of Butch's merchandise, much to my delight. And when I say Butch merchandise I mean merchandise made to allegedly advertise the marina and tackle shop commonly known as Butch's. But of course, for us of the queer persuasion it really means merchandise to take photos of and by for folks back home so we can all enjoy its collective irony, with much giggling of course and wondering “do they know?”

Last summer I was there and spent much time picking out my Butch slash butch merchandise for myself and friends. It had to be just ironic enough, because if you get a tee shirt that just says “butch” on it, that seems a little obvious, like one of those “I'm not a lesbian but my girlfriend is” shirts from the 1990s that I really hate.

When I came to the counter, the older guy, who has known my family for three generations now, pushed his hat back on his head a little bit. He looked at me for a moment “we sell a lot of these tee shirts” he said, with a little smile, “to people with the same haircut as you.”




Can long distance relationships work?

I was recently talking with one of my girlfriends who informed that her boyfriend of 2 years was moving 3 hours away for work. They are pretty serious, but she’s enrolled in school here and won’t be done for 2 years- and then she plans on moving out there with him and starting her career. All of this got me to thinking; can long distance relationships really work?

I know they have worked for some. I’ve actually known a few people who met their sweetheart online and maintained a long distance relationship for quite a while. However, I do have to say that those relationships eventually crashed and burned, so can these last forever? I have a hard time thinking they can.

I know if two people are really in love, they are going to do everything I their power to make it work for them. If the get to visit each other often, I think the relationship has a much higher chance of making it to the end. But, I do think that extensive times of not seeing the other can definitely change things. We are human beings and one thing that we crave universally is close human contact. When you haven’t seen the person you love for an extensive amount of time, you can begin to forget the reasons as to why that person became so important to you. A phone conversation can never compare to actually being there. I’d love to know some stories about people who did make these relationships work and how you went about getting through the hard time.