At least, according to Linda Harvey, apparently a Certified Expert on All Things. I must confess that I didn’t even know who this ridiculous person was before I heard what she had to say (and frankly, who cares what she has to say?), which is:

There’s no proof that there’s ever been a gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered person.

There you have it, folks—the infallible wisdom of religion! I just love how they base their ENTIRE view on life on a man-made book written thousands of years ago, translated hundreds of times, and nipped and tucked by religious leaders and kings and call it “proof” of everything from Adam and Eve riding dinosaurs rodeo-style to the existence of a fiery torture playground a few hundred yards beneath our feet—but the very existence of their neighbors and fellow citizens isn’t real because, well, she just says so.

I’m going to start using this form of logic myself! Okay, if I’m living in Linda Harvey’s world, I get to say that there is no proof of…

Tea partiers!

And right wing evangelists!

And Nickelback!

Foie gras!

Racism!

Rick Santorum! (I suppose that one is a little redundant…)

Homophobia!

Child hunger!

War!

Famine!

Justin Bieber!

Did it work? Hmmm, I just Googled the Bieb and saw that ridiculous outfit he wore during the VMAs last night, so I guess not. Maybe if I close my eyes, cross my fingers, and say ten Hail Marys?

Nope. No dice.

I guess what’s-her-name’s logic isn’t so sound after all. So when she tells dozens of my friends and family that they don’t exist—and likely more than 10% of the country—I really take umbrage with it. And I’m sure they do, too. Maybe she should keep her big trap shut when she’s got such ridiculous claims to make.